Deconversion: Leaving Your Religion

[neptunesdolphins]

 Since many Neo-Pagans and Polytheists have deconverted from other religions (or Atheism), I am exploring the process and how it effects their entry into their new chosen faiths. A religious transition, deconversion begins as a process to reject current religious beliefs. After disengaging from a religious community, the person decides what to believe or not. They may decide to become Polytheists or Neo-Pagans.

 

Christian authors, Alisa Childers and Tim Barnett tell what they believe deconversion to be. They wrote “The Deconstruction of Christianity” for church groups to understand why people leave and how to respond. Childers and Barnett say, “Deconstruction is not about getting your theology right. It’s not about trying to match reality. It’s about tearing down doctrines that are morally wrong to you to make them match your own internal conscience. You are the ultimate authority.” They continue, “with deconstruction, there is no external authority to tell you what your views should look like.” (The emphasis is from the authors.)

 

Meanwhile Neo-Pagan author, Yvonne Aburrow offers a different point of view. In “Changing Paths,” she writes, “leaving a religion or worldview rarely happens all at once. It happens gradually, rather like the unraveling of a knitted garment. There are many reasons for leaving a religion, and while there may be one reason that stands out above all the rest or a defining moment when you decided to quit, there are usually multiple reasons for leaving. Often it is because its worldview does not work for you any more.”

 

What starts the process is a clash of beliefs or values with the current belief system. As the person examines this clash, their religious convictions become frayed. After making a leap of faith to non-belief, they then live in the unknowing place. While at that point, the person explores the alternatives and decides what is next for them.

 

In “The Anatomy of Deconversion,” John Mariott lists the stages of deconversion. First, the religion that is causing them to leave is examined. In most, cases, it is a form of Fundamentalism that prompts people to leave. Then comes a crisis of faith, which usually involves spiritual abuse. (Note 1) Now unmoored, the person resolves their crisis by seeking the truth outside of their original religion. In the face of their growing doubts, a deconvert tries to retain their faith. Unable to do that, they first become agnostic and then finally an Atheist. In the final stage, the deconvert informs others of their loss of faith.

 

In other words, deconversion starts with uncovering fear-based beliefs and identifying emotional dissonance it causes. For example, the person tries to align compassionate teachings with fear-based ones. After rejecting both, they let go of their “bad faith habits.” (Note 2) Now living in the unknowing and the uncertainty of no particular religion (Note 3), they ponder the next steps. Finally, the deconvert finds a sense of peace and serenity within another religion or without one.

 

In “Leaning Forward,” Karl and Laura Forehand discuss how to find peace beyond the confines of religion. They emphasize the importance of finding community outside of the former church. In looking, people need to figure out what type of connection they want to have as well as their reasons for having it. Moreover, any new community they join should allow anyone speak and ask questions.

 

John Beckett, Druid blogger, in his writings suggest reading about other religions and their approach to the numinous and sacred. Explore Paganism (his term) to see if there is something calling to you. Remain open to new experiences and new ways of thinking. Avoid seeking more and more intense spiritual experiences which can become addictive.

 

Some deconverts find Neo-Paganism or Polytheism compatible with their new philosophies. Entering either religion starts a new process of relating to the numinous. Within both, people explore, often moving from one to another before settling in to a particular belief system.

 

“Road Goes Ever On” by J.R.R. Tolkien

“The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.”

 

Notes:

Note 1. Spiritual abuse ranges from threatening believers with the fires of hell to shaking people down for money for the good of the Church to sexual abuse.

 

Note 2: A “bad faith” habit is never questioning a dogma. For example, the person does not question how a loving and unchanging God could order the genocide of Canaanites.

 

Note 3. In many “revealed” religions, the certainty of dogma is stressed. God’s word is revealed for people to follow and believe.

 

Suggested Reading of Deconversion stories:

John Beckett, at his website, “Under the Ancient Oaks,” https://undertheancientoaks.com/

(From Baptist to Druid)

 

Karl and Laura Forehand, “Leaning Forward”

(From church pastor and wife to having no religion)

 

Yvonne Aburrow, “Changing Paths”

(From Christianity to various Neo-Pagan faiths, and between Neo-Pagan faiths)

Comments

[boccaderlupo]

What is odd (to me) and somewhat interesting about what is described above is the implication that "you are the ultimate authority." It's the individual's beliefs that matter, above all. (Of course, there may certainly be precipitating external factors, as noted, in the case of abuse.)

But I would argue that, whether its traditional monotheism or traditional polytheism, the ultimate authority is...God or the gods. The individual mortal is always downstream from more powerful authorities. So these perspectives you describe seem to me to be "Neo" indeed.

Interesting, too, given the argument, if I understand correct, that the Piscean age corresponds to a rise in individualism.

Axé and all blessings to you...

[neptunesdolphins]

I think the problem lies in how to relate or think about the ultimate authorities. Monotheistic religions have doctrines as to how to think about God, and how to relate to Him. People have problems with that dogma for various reasons.

I was briefly Roman Catholic until I realized that I was Polytheistic. And that it was o.k. to be Polytheistic. Then I had to go through the process of learning about Polytheism.

However, you did pinpoint a problem in Neo-Paganism of the individual deciding what they will believe and do. It is a human centered religion.