Thank you for posting about this. As my userpic suggests, I'm a big fan of the RW deck. It's been my default for almost as long as its been published.
This sounds like a great book that would be very helpful to a lot of people.
When I had an existential crisis as a sophomore in college (fall of 1985) that left me spiritually bereft after growing up a very devout Good Christian Girl(tm) one of the first things I did was try to construct what I called my "ethical liferaft." I still wanted to be a moral person, but I realized that if no longer believed in the Bible as the source of my ethics it didn't make sense to just continue with the framework I'd grown up with. At the same time, I was never a wild kid and didn't feel a need to justify behaviors that lay too far outside that framework. Except for sex. I still wasn't ready to have sex, but I'd never quite believed that the "no sex until you're married and then only with that one person for life" made sense.
I knew I didn't want a rulebook anymore, I wanted principles that could guide me. I went through a process of contemplating what qualities I wanted to embrace which would result in being. . . I can't remember now the words I used at the time. . . something about living in a way that would be honorable and respectful of others. I was self-aware enough to realize that my spiritual formation was thoroughly Christian, and that I probably wouldn't end up very far from where I'd been, but it was import to me to go through the process.
I ended up with a resolution that said that if I acted with Wisdom (considered experience), Integrity (honesty with myself and others), Courage (the ability to overcome fear and do the right thing under pressure) and Tenderness (treating others gently and with care, even if I didn't "love" them) I would consider myself ethical. Forty years later, those are still the principles I try to live by. Although over the past decade or so I've realized that I want to be more proactive in my care for others and commitment to engaging with justice and equity. (I had a very sheltered and privileged life that left me with a lot of blind spots.)
That's a very long response, but since we're getting to know each other. . .
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Date: 2025-01-18 03:39 pm (UTC)This sounds like a great book that would be very helpful to a lot of people.
When I had an existential crisis as a sophomore in college (fall of 1985) that left me spiritually bereft after growing up a very devout Good Christian Girl(tm) one of the first things I did was try to construct what I called my "ethical liferaft." I still wanted to be a moral person, but I realized that if no longer believed in the Bible as the source of my ethics it didn't make sense to just continue with the framework I'd grown up with. At the same time, I was never a wild kid and didn't feel a need to justify behaviors that lay too far outside that framework. Except for sex. I still wasn't ready to have sex, but I'd never quite believed that the "no sex until you're married and then only with that one person for life" made sense.
I knew I didn't want a rulebook anymore, I wanted principles that could guide me. I went through a process of contemplating what qualities I wanted to embrace which would result in being. . . I can't remember now the words I used at the time. . . something about living in a way that would be honorable and respectful of others. I was self-aware enough to realize that my spiritual formation was thoroughly Christian, and that I probably wouldn't end up very far from where I'd been, but it was import to me to go through the process.
I ended up with a resolution that said that if I acted with Wisdom (considered experience), Integrity (honesty with myself and others), Courage (the ability to overcome fear and do the right thing under pressure) and Tenderness (treating others gently and with care, even if I didn't "love" them) I would consider myself ethical. Forty years later, those are still the principles I try to live by. Although over the past decade or so I've realized that I want to be more proactive in my care for others and commitment to engaging with justice and equity. (I had a very sheltered and privileged life that left me with a lot of blind spots.)
That's a very long response, but since we're getting to know each other. . .